The Window to Our souls

This past days and weeks the phrase 'the eyes are the windows to our souls' has been running through my head. What does that exactly mean? Can you truly see the who a person really is? What is about the eyes that make them the window to the soul? Why?
Ever since I have been a kid, i have always noticed a persons eyes. It would meet someone new and if i was really interested in the person, i would look at there eyes. At that age i was only noticing the color of the eyes and that is as far as it went. Never anything deeper. But as i have grown older, i have begun noticing that the eyes of a person hold many secrets. Through the eyes you can see if the person is genuinely interested or just being nice. You can see anger or kindness. You can see the joy or sadness of that person. You can see love or hatred.
Last night as i was sitting and talking to a friend, i saw something in his eyes that i had never noticed before. There was a genuine care and love in them. Not to sound corny or anything but it was one of those looks that any girl would kill to get.
Although this friend and i only have a friendship, God showed me last night a glimpse of what He has prepared for me in the future. That there is a man out there that will look at me in the same way. That will love and appreciate me. And all i have to do is wait. So i encourage any single girl that reads this, that God has a special person planned for you that when you look into his eyes you will completely melt. Last night i got a taste of it and a hope that the day is coming and most likely coming sooner than I think.
And this is my prayer, that your love may abound you more and more in the knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ. Philippians 1:9-10

How do you say "I LOVE YOU"

How do you say those three little words that at times are so hard to say, but other times are so easy to come off of our tongues? There are so many different types of love. The love of friends, of family, of Christ, of a mate. But is there a wrong way and a right way to say those words. When is it okay and when should you just keep your mouth shut.

When I express my love to my Savior, I never seem to have the right or enough words to say "I Love You". Some how i always seem to stumble through them, but the best part is that He knows the words that i am trying to say and He still loves me even with the lack of words.

Then I think about the love that I have for my family and do i tell them enough that I love them. Or do i let days go by before i say the three precious little words. And how often do I actually tell my friends that I love them and appreciate who they are and what they have done in my life? Do I even say "I Love You" enough? But then if I say those words too much do they mean as much as I think that they do? Can a person over say "I love you"

My mind then wonders to the teenage years and early twenties......A stage of life when some people only say those words to get something from the other sex. And so many times we abuse those three words as well. To better position ourselves in life, to find 15 minutes of pleasure, all in the pursuit of finding love. So the next question is 'What is love'? Is it sex, is it a feeling, is it just words we say......

At the moment i cant really say what love is.

I know the love of my Savior. I know the love of my friends and family. But one thing i have yet to experience is the love of a significant other, who has yet to arrive.

So love is_____. So many different things to each person. All I know for sure is that love wins. LOVE WINS everytime and in every situation.

I encourage anyone who reads this to do some soul searching and find out love is to you. Fill in the blank with what love means to you.

One final thought. Why is 'I love you' always referred to as 'the three little words'. I think it should be 'the three BIG words'. This phrase has the power to build someone up and help them to become the best that they can become or to tear them into pieces.

I beg you that before you say those words to exam and decide whether it will build this person up or tear them down.

Torn in Two

So lately I have been feeling as if my heart has been torn in two different directions. The things I know God wants me to do is one direction. And then the other direction is what a "normal" 21 year old is suppose to be doing. Going to a college and living the college life. And then there is also the thing of love. Waiting for someone one who God has appointed and wanting to go and find this person and make it happen NOW. So lately that is how I have been feeling.
Last night as I was sitting in McDonalds with a couple of friends, I began to think of how my life could be.......parties, guys, going places, ect. But then I had to look around me. I knew that the cops would not be called on us, we were glorifying our King, and these two guys were in the same boat as me. Living against the norm. But truly what is the norm in life for a 21 year old. The world says parties, drinking, sex, drugs,..... But then when I look at what God wants I see a completely different picture. A picture of fellowship, purity, peace, trust,...... One of these direction to the human eyes seems better than the other. But W.W.J.W. "What Would Jesus Want"
I know exactly what God wants but at times its seems almost next to impossible to achieve it. But for all of those who are around my age can take home in the youth of the Bible. Take Esther for example. She was only a teenager and she was able to save her people. Daniel was taken from his own country and God showed him favor. Joseph was sold into slavery and ended up later saving his brothers and people too. In 1 Timothy 4:12, Paul writes Dont let anyone think less of you because of you are young.
To me this was such an encouragement to continue living my life the way that I am living it. It doesnt matter how old or young we are God will use us if we are willing. Even as I am writing this God is beginning to mend my heart. Cry out to God and He will hear you and answer all your prayers. Maybe not in ways that we expected or think that He should, but He will be there every single time to GUIDE you through those times. Just has He has guided me through all of lifes crazy situations.

Baptism of the Holy Spirit.

For the longest time this has always put a little of fear into my heart. I would see these Christians who have been Baptised in the Holy Spirit and all of the them seemed, well kinda crazy. I believe that the craziest and scariest thing for me was the gift of tongues. Thinking of this, I go to Acts and the Day of Pentecost of where the Holy Spirit came and Paul and the apostles where given the gift of tongues. They were able to speak in languages that they did not know. WOW!!! And the people around them thought they were drunk. LOL.

This past sunday night at our prayer service, one of the elders wife came up to me and asked if I wanted to receive the Baptism of the Holy Spirit. Not wanting to miss out on anything that God has planned for me, I said yes. So her husband came and prayed for me and before I knew it I was muttering/speaking in tongues and praising God. I wasnt in that building for that moment and I was with my Savior. Praising His name. I had a feeling come over me that I had never felt before.

Before all of this happened, I was feeling so blue and down. That week prior, I made a phone call that would change my Easter Weekend. It was one of the hardest things that I ever had to do. I told my parents not to come out to Goodland Kansas to visit, because of their financial situation. And this killed me more than I thought it would. I got off the phone and went to my friend, my mentor, my "mother" Bobbie and cried my heart out. Which I hardly ever do. Sunday night prior to praying I was feeling so blue and down and crying like a baby again. I started to feel anger and disappointment.

But once again my God was faithful and came to my rescue and held me as I cried. As i was sitting there a little girl named Olivia came up and touched my leg to see if i was okay. At that moment I truly felt that it was the hand of God and Him telling me that everything was going to to be okay, although the storm were coming in and the skies were becoming black.

He rescued me, like He has always done and always will do. In Psalms 31:2-3 Turn your ear to listen to me; rescue me quickly. Be my rock of protection, a fortress where I will be safe. you ar my rock and my fortress. For the honor of your name, lead me out of this danger.

Tonight as I write this, I know that although the skies arent as sunny as they have been, that everything will be okay and that in time He will bring His perfect plan into motion. And each night I become one day closer to that day. This is what has been on my heart this past week.

Our Purpose on Earth?????

This morning i was contemplating what my life is really about. Why am i on this earth. What is my purpose here. Am i just suppose to live each day as if they werent anything special. Or should i wake up every morning with a renewed spirit, mind, and soul about the day ahead of me. Well that day would typically be....Sleep, and then work. Is my life only about making money and surviving today day and praying that i survive the next day. What is my purpose and what is my next step. This morning as i was thinking upon these things, my life became a blur. Why am i here and why am i at this job. What is the point of being a night auditor at a hotel where i hardly see anyone until the next morning for maybe two hours, but then right after work i go home and sleep. Is that really all my life is suppose to be about. Yea it is convenient that i am able to finish my homework for classes, but what for...... Whats the point???? This is the question that i have been struggling with this morning?

Now i do realize that not many, if any, people read this blog. I just find that i can work through things and find answers better once i write things down. Im weird like that i know.

Right now as im listening to some worship music the song that is playing is Every Man by Casting Crowns. "Is there hope for every man?" YES!!! There is a love that never dies and JESUS is hope for every man. Which kinda gives me my answer.

But then my heart is torn for the things and people that i left behind in Indiana and Mexico. I love each of those places for the same but also different reasons.

Indiana is where my beginning is. My family, childhood friends, and most of my memories and dreams. Mexico is the place where i found my calling for youth ministry and where my ministry began. Had you asked me a 8 months ago if i would be living in Goodland Kansas, i would have said NO, Ill be in Mexico working as a missionary.

I had part of my calling right. The only thing wrong was the place. I wouldnt be a missionary in Mexico, but rather i would be a missionary in Goodland Kansas. Now i know that many people, when hearing the word missionary think of people in foreign countries and maybe even dangerous place spreading Gods Word and Love. Here is where whoever may read this might disagree if you havent already.

Isnt America just as dangerous. Isnt life itself dangerous?????? In my humble opinion.....YES. We drive cars down a highway at 60 or higher speeds. One wrong move and you are in a bad situation. And not just the dangerous part of it but God has told us to take the Gospel to all corners of the world. Isnt the United States apart of that or is it exempt????

We are all called to be missionaries in our own states, communities, schools, workplaces, families, to friends, and our own lives. So i guess i just answered my own question from earlier. I pray that my blog will be a blessing and an inspiration to all those who read it whether it be one person or a multitude of people. Lord use it to your honor and glory.